


How (Not) to Confess to Your Best Friend

by dweetwise



Series: Breaking Down the Walls [3]
Category: Dead by Daylight (Video Game)
Genre: Adam is oblivious, Boys In Love, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Jeff is a sweetheart, M/M, One Shot, Rare Pairings, Side ship David/Quentin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:20:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26357107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dweetwise/pseuds/dweetwise
Summary: Jeff wasn't surprised he ended up falling for Adam, but he also had no plans of ever telling the other about his feelings.He should have known nothing in the realm usually went as planned, and his little crush was no exception.
Relationships: Jeffrey "Jeff" Johansen/Adam Francis
Series: Breaking Down the Walls [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1908616
Comments: 6
Kudos: 21





	How (Not) to Confess to Your Best Friend

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BiscuitJams](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BiscuitJams/gifts).



> you can blame biscuitjams for getting me into this ship <3

Jeff would never had thought he’d end up forming close friendships in the fog, but as time went by, he found himself appreciating the company of the more subdued personalities at the campfire. No matter how much fun it was to hear some of Ace’s bad jokes, Feng’s angry rants after an unfair trial, or Kate’s constant singing and humming, Jeff felt most at home chatting quietly, side-by-side with a trusted friend.

Claudette had been his go-to at the start, as their friendship had formed naturally from when Jeff didn’t yet know the ropes of the trials and ended up injured or sacrificed in each one. Being the group’s healer, the botanist had spent a lot of time patching him up and trying her best to make awkward small talk to take his mind off the pain. When Jeff had turned the tables and started asking her about her interest in plants that slowly evolved into talking about their lives before the realm, she’d been much more in her element and their conversation flowed easily.

Dwight was the next one to befriend him, as he probably felt it his duty as the group’s leader. Despite his meek demeanor, Dwight was a great help in trials, quick to adapt and come up with strategies on the spot. At the stillness of the campfire however, he was nervous and fidgety, trying and failing to appear casual. Jeff tried to get to know him better, but despite Dwight only being a few years younger than him, they struggled to find common points of interest and his nervous energy occasionally rubbed Jeff the wrong way—though it wasn’t any fault of Dwight’s.

Jeff briefly tried approaching the more solitary members of the group, including Bill, Jake and detective Tapp. To this day, none of them seemed to mind his presence invading their own personal bubbles around camp, but they also weren’t much for conversation. It didn’t hurt to have some friends to fall back on once the more rowdy survivors were getting a little too obnoxious for Jeff’s liking, but he also craved more discussion than one-word answers or annoyed grunts.

And maybe that was what finally prompted him to get to know Adam.

Jeff wasn’t usually one to judge a book by its cover, but Adam didn’t initially seem like the most approachable person. The posh clothes, constant frown on his face, as well as his academic drive seemed the complete opposite of Jeff’s own bohemian view on life. Combined with Adam’s actions in trials, including his tendency to heal others’ wounds slower than the rest and pulling himself off hook instead of waiting for a rescue, Jeff got the impression that he mostly looked out for his own interest.

It was only when Adam showed up at the campfire in a completely different outfit, dressed in simple jeans and a hoodie and looking much more casual and approachable than before, that Jeff decided to give it a shot.

“You used to be a teacher, right? What did you like most about it?” Jeff asked. He could have probably asked about the clothes, or Adam’s taste in music or something much more mundane, but he was craving deep conversation and wanted to take a chance.

And Adam looked at him curiously, before giving a small smile and started telling a very personal story about how studying, and by extension, teaching, helped him find a purpose in his life. And Jeff listened raptly, finding it the most interesting thing since being stuck in the fog, feeling like he was having a discussion with a long-lost friend.

* * *

Jeff valued meaningful talks and Adam was more than happy to provide, the two more often than not seeking each other out, completely immersed in conversation until one got called into a trial. Jeff wasn’t as well-read as Adam, but even when the other went off on a tangent, he enjoyed learning about all the tidbits of information the other had picked up during his studies and (way more exciting that Jeff’s, if he was honest) life.

Jeff had always been an average student at best, but he started studying Adam, looking at him with what felt like completely different eyes. He noticed that even though Adam was typically quiet at the campfire, he had a certain aura of authority, most likely from his work as a teacher. The younger survivors definitely regarded him as such, both Laurie and Quentin often approaching him for some words of wisdom.

Adam also kept the group on their feet, correcting grammar and rationalizing some of the more colorful theories the others came up with. A few of them were annoyed by his antics, Nea snarking about him being a know-it-all, but Adam would always just gently remind them that they needed to keep their minds sharp even despite the lack of available knowledge and entertainment in the realm.

Jeff started working much better with Adam in trials. What had at first seemed like a selfish action or a setback to the team turned out to be a carefully calculated risk/reward scenario. Adam unhooking himself let the others work on generators and not worry about the save, even though it left him vulnerable and unable to heal. Adam taking longer than usual to patch them up at the start of a trial meant he was preserving the good items until the end, managing to fully heal someone in only a couple of seconds. Jeff felt a little bad for initially assuming the worst, so he made sure to commend Adam’s resourcefulness every time his unorthodox methods were used successfully, and was usually rewarded with a bashful smile.

Jeff also got to know Adam’s playful side that he’d completely ignored before. His kind of dorky sense of humor and awkward laugh and the way he was able to outwit some of the others in banter and even point out the discrepancies in Ash’s stories. And the smirk Jeff caught on his face every time the killer went to check a pebble he threw was downright adorable.

So Jeff developed a little—or a huge—crush.

The realization didn’t phase him as much as it probably should have. He’d done his fair share of experimenting in his youth, which left him comfortable in the idea that he was attracted to people and not their gender. Growing so close to Adam, it would have been strange if he _didn’t_ develop any sort of feelings.

He didn’t even entertain the idea that said feelings could be returned. Adam didn’t appear like the kind to place an importance on relationships, their friendship seeming more than enough for the man. He’d also very pointedly never talked about any of his previous partners, even when Jeff had opened up about a bad breakup he’d had with an ex-girlfriend some years ago. So Jeff figured his romantic life wasn’t something he’d ever want to involve Jeff in, and he didn’t blame him. Even without the death and violence and hopelessness of their predicament as the Entity’s playthings, Adam was entitled to his privacy. 

Jeff did a good job of hiding his crush, all things considered. He continued spending nearly all of his time with Adam, at most letting a soft smile or affectionate compliment slip. Adam didn’t seem to notice anything had changed, and the fact that not even Ace or Kate or any of the other gossips picked up on his feelings reassured Jeff that he’d been able to deal with the situation successfully.

* * *

In the end, it only took one small mistake to unravel his hard work.

Adam had gotten back from a trial with two of the others, visibly shaken up while Laurie was engaged in a shouting match with Jake, of all people.

“—it was a suicide mission and you know that!” Laurie yelled at the survivalist, an accusing finger flying out to point at his chest.

“You didn’t even fucking try!” Jake argued, slapping her hand away. Jeff had never seen the man this angry, and it was not a pretty sight. “I did all the work, and you just left me to die on first hook!”

“You were in the middle of her web of traps, and we were both injured!” Laurie protested, her face going red from anger.

“Guess it’s a shame we can’t all pull ourselves off hook, huh?” Jake snarked, turning to look at Adam, who flinched from the accusation. “Some of us are _actual_ team players—"

“Oh, _please!_ ” Laurie scoffed. “I saw you sitting on the gen while we all had to save and take chases injured! Maybe if you wouldn’t have acted like a _coward_ the entire trial—"

“Jesus, _shut the fuck up,_ both of you!” Bill interrupted, moving to stand between the two, and Jeff saw his opportunity to whisk his friend away from the commotion.

“Hey, you wanna go for a walk?” Jeff murmured, coming up beside Adam while Laurie and Jake were now both directing their anger at Bill. “Wait until things calm down a bit?”

“Thank you,” Adam sighed in relief, following Jeff into the woods.

“Rough trial?” Jeff asked, finally breaking the companionable silence when the bickering from the campfire was no longer audible.

“Nerve-wracking,” Adam specified. “It was the Hag. She caught Jake just as we finished the last generator and hooked him in the middle of all her traps. We might have been able to get him, b-but…”

Jeff stopped in his tracks upon hearing Adam’s uncharacteristically shaky voice, looking over to the man as worry spread through him.

“I was scared,” Adam confessed, looking up at Jeff with concerned eyes, like he wasn’t sure he was allowed to feel that way. “We were both dead on hook, and I had no idea where she’d placed her traps, and I—”

“Do you need a hug?” Jeff asked, interrupting the panicked rambling with a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Adam looked at the hand in surprise, and then at Jeff’s face, indecision flashing on his features before he let out a small sigh.

“Yes, please,” Adam whispered and Jeff wasted no time in enveloping him in one of his famous bear hugs, wrapping his arms around his broad shoulders and pulling him close.

“It’s okay,” Jeff reassured, gently patting him on the back. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Don’t make bad trials worse by mulling over them.”

Hesitant arms came up to rest on his lower back and Adam’s forehead lowered onto his shoulder, before he exhaled shakily against Jeff and most of the tension seemed to seep out from his body.

And Jeff was acutely reminded of why physical contact with a man he had feelings for was a grade A bad idea, his brain’s dopamine production kicking into overdrive at the other’s close proximity. While Adam relaxed against him, Jeff felt himself tense up, butterflies in his stomach and his heart beating frantically as Adam’s familiar scent overwhelmed his senses. He felt like he was taking advantage, his unsuspecting friend just seeking comfort and having no idea that Jeff had feelings for him. Still, he waited for Adam to pull away, not wanting to put him under even more stress by pushing him away after being the one to suggest the contact.

“Thank you,” Adam said, glancing up at him and scratching at his arm self-consciously after removing himself from the embrace. “I really needed that.”

“Anytime,” Jeff found himself saying, and then winced upon remembering his predicament. “Actually, scratch that. There’s, uh, something I’ve been meaning to tell you. Something I definitely should have let you in on before hugging you.”

Adam regarded him curiously, and at least he seemed to be in a much better mindset than before. This probably wasn’t the right time for a confession but then again, when was? In here, they were constantly recovering from either death or near-death experiences.

Jeff led Adam over to a fallen tree and sat down a respectable distance away from him to feebly try to make up for the hug.

“I’m… shit, there’s no easy way to say this,” Jeff chuckled nervously. “I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you. You’re my best friend, you know?”

“Likewise,” Adam replied with a happy little smile that sure as hell didn’t make this any easier. Hopefully he’d still want to be friends after he knew how Jeff really felt.

“And, well, I’ve found myself liking you a little _too_ much,” Jeff tried to joke, but Adam just furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “As in, I have feelings for you.”

It was kind of cute how it took Adam a few seconds to process the information, his head cocking to the side just the tiniest bit before his eyes widened in surprise.

“Oh. _Oh,_ ” Adam said and gave Jeff a quick, probably subconscious, once-over that he’d seen many a time before, a clear gesture of ‘I had no idea you swung that way’.

“Just to be clear, I have no intention of letting it get in the way of our friendship,” Jeff clarified. “Well, had. I hugged you without thinking, and that was definitely not appropriate considering the situation. I’m so sorry.”

“Um, that’s alright,” Adam said, and it made Jeff feel a little better.

“Still, I probably should have told you earlier. I never wanted to put you in an awkward spot like this,” Jeff cringed in embarrassment. “I hope we can still keep being friends, but I get if that’s not something you’re comfortable with.”

“Uhh…” Adam simply said, and if the situation were different Jeff would have chuckled at the normally composed man being at a loss for words.

“How about you think it over a few days?” Jeff suggested, trying to appear calm even though he was screaming internally. “We either keep going like before, or go back to being… acquaintances? Teammates? No hard feelings either way, I promise.”

“…Alright,” Adam agreed and Jeff sighed in relief and bolted back to the campfire embarrassingly fast to escape the awkward situation.

* * *

Jeff was prepared to spend the realm’s equivalent of a week avoiding Adam. He did hang out with Claudette for a day and a half to try to avoid thinking about effectively making a fool out of himself, but Adam was always in the back of his mind.

It sure as hell wasn’t made easier when Claudette kept asking whether they got into a fight, and even David butted in with some unwanted advice.

“Ya should tell him how ya feel,” the brawler encouraged him, letting Jeff in on the fact that he’d been a lot less subtle about his feelings for Adam than he’d initially thought.

“It’s not always that simple,” Claudette defended him, and Jeff didn’t have the heart to tell either of them he’d already confessed and he’d be lucky if Adam even wanted to be his friend again.

“What’s the big deal? They’re practically married anyway,” David grinned.

“People _can_ be just good friends,” Claudette pointed out.

“I dunno. I still think ya should confess—I mean it worked for me!” David beamed, looking across the campfire at Quentin who was regarding their exchange curiously. When David offered an exaggerated wink, the dreamwalker rolled his eyes in exasperation, but Jeff caught the small smile on his lips.

“If anyone’s acting like a married couple, it’s you two,” Jeff said, happy the two had found each other. Even though him and Adam would never be a thing, he appreciated David’s efforts to try to psyche him up.

* * *

Jeff was wholly unprepared when Adam approached him after just one day, mid-conversation with Claudette when Adam walked up to them. Apparently he didn’t need much time to think over the fate of their friendship, and Jeff wasn’t sure whether that was a good or bad sign.

“Jeff, do you have a minute?” he asked, his usual calm demeanor in place and an unreadable expression on his face, and despite Jeff’s heart trying to beat out of his chest he managed a surprisingly nonchalant “Sure”.

That’s how they found themselves in the woods again, Jeff following Adam this time, and they ended up sitting on the same tree as last time. Jeff sat down on one end, wanting to give Adam some space, but the man surprised him by sitting down close to him. Not suspiciously close, but definitely within friend-distance and not acquaintance-distance, which made hope flutter in Jeff’s chest.

“I take it you’ve made up your mind?” Jeff asked, trying his hardest not to smile and assume anything prematurely.

“I have, but I need your confirmation first,” Adam said, and this time it was Jeff’s turn to be confused. “You gave me two options, but after thinking it through I didn’t particularly like either of them.”

Jeff’s smile faltered at the words and his mind immediately jumped to worst-case-scenario. If Adam didn’t want to be his friend, he apparently wanted nothing to do with him—

“I propose option C,” Adam said with the hint of a smirk on his face that managed to pull Jeff out from the dark train of thought. “We stay as friends, but in addition to that, we also work our way towards being boyfriends.”

Jeff couldn’t believe his ears; this beautiful, wonderful man that he’d been quietly crushing on for what had to be months at this point, actually returned his feelings? The embarrassed wince and awkward smile that Adam did following his confession just made him seem even more charming than before.

“That sounded a lot more smooth in my head,” Adam smiled nervously and glanced up at Jeff, clearly awaiting his response.

“You have me blushing like a schoolgirl,” Jeff said, letting the excited grin spread over his lips. “I think that counts as ‘smooth’.”

Adam chuckled nervously, looking at him expectantly and waiting for him to continue. ‘He’s so polite,’ Jeff thought fondly.

“Going back to your suggestion: I’d love that,” Jeff admitted, gazing fondly into Adam’s eyes and placing a hesitant hand on Adam’s own. “Never in a million years did I think you’d go for someone like me.”

“That’s supposed to be _my_ line,” Adam smiled, turning his hand to clasp Jeff’s gently. “I’m not quite sure what you see in me, but I’m not about to look a gift horse in the mouth.”

“Are you kidding?” Jeff said. “You’re the smartest and most interesting person I’ve ever met. I’ll never get tired of listening to you talk, and… well, it doesn’t hurt that you’re really… _really_ handsome,” Jeff finished, feeling a little nervous after the mushy confession.

“Took the words from my mouth again,” Adam murmured, looking up at him shyly and with the smile never leaving his face. Jeff was about to protest, not seeing himself as particularly intelligent or interesting _or_ attractive, but Adam interrupted him. “And shush, there’s more kinds of intelligence than one gained from books,” Adam assured, squeezing his hand. “You’re the most compassionate, gentle soul I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting and I’m so happy I’ve gotten a chance to get to know you properly.”

Now it was Jeff’s turn to be embarrassed, feeling a flush creep up his neck as he cleared his throat self-consciously, not knowing how to respond to the compliment.

“And it doesn’t hurt that you’re extremely attractive,” Adam added with a cheeky smile, copying his earlier sentiment, and now Jeff’s face was definitely all kinds of red.

“I have another confession,” Jeff said, feeling emboldened by their sincere exchange.

“Go on,” Adam said, the smile giving way to curiosity.

“I really want to kiss you,” Jeff murmured, loving the way the words made Adam inhale sharply in surprise.

“I—um, alright,” Adam said, barely above a whisper, his eyes darting all over Jeff’s face anxiously while he slowly leaned closer.

And that was enough confirmation for Jeff to go for it. He placed his hand on Adam’s waist, on the light blue denim of his jacket while leaning closer, a nervous glint in the other’s dark eyes the last thing he saw before closing his eyes and meeting his warm lips.

It was only an innocent press of lips, something to test the waters, but Jeff found himself enjoying it nonetheless. He’d never been this close to Adam before, at least not without either of them hanging on a hook or bleeding all over each other. The butterflies in his gut were now fluttering in full force, his own heartbeat nearly drowning out the rustling of Adam’s jacket as he placed a hesitant hand on Jeff’s shoulder. He felt the warmth from the hand even through his several layers of clothing, finally pulling back from the soft kiss to look at his (to-be?) boyfriend with an equally soft look.

But Adam wasn’t returning his gaze, in fact he looked torn, the smile gone from his face as he sighed quietly and looked down at the ground in thought.

“What’s wrong?” Jeff asked, feeling worry spread through him. Maybe he shouldn’t have suggested a kiss so quickly.

“I’m—I don’t know how to say this, to be honest,” Adam said, glancing at Jeff apologetically.

“Oh,” Jeff realized, trying not to let it show how the words made his heart sink. Seemed like Adam was having second thought. “You weren’t into it, huh?”

“What? No!” Adam, to his surprise, protested. “The kiss was nice. _Very_ nice,” he added, a small smile creeping back on his face as of its own accord when Adam thought back to the kiss. It also made the lump in Jeff’s throat disappear, and he offered a breathy chuckle in relief.

“It was,” Jeff agreed, not able to help the smile manifesting on his own lips to match Adam’s. “So what’s on your mind?”

“I just… Well, since we’re on the topic of confessions,” Adam started, clearing his throat and putting some distance between them, presumably to not get his train of thought interrupted by their dopey staring competition again. “You should know that I’ve… never done this before.”

“With a man?” Jeff gently prodded.

“No—well, yes, but I mean… I haven’t done _any_ of this. With anyone,” Adam clarified, the nerves making him less eloquent than usual.

“You mean…” Jeff faltered, once again having trouble believing what the other was saying. Was that Adam’s first kiss? _Ever?_

“I’m a virgin, yes,” Adam said, averting his eyes. That’s not what Jeff meant at all, but the information didn’t phase him and sure as hell didn’t change his feelings. “At thirty years old. It’s embarrassing, I know.”

“Not at all,” Jeff was quick to reassure, resisting the urge to place a comforting hand on the other’s knee lest he come off as belittling. So it wasn’t a big deal to him, but apparently it was for Adam. “Everyone moves at their own pace. There’s so much more to life than sex.”

“That’s what I always thought, and so I didn’t want to rush into anything,” Adam explained, wringing his hands together to soothe the nerves that no doubt surfaced from bringing up a sensitive subject. “I never exactly put myself out there. I only attended one party in college, and left early even then. Later, I tried using dating apps, but only ended up with unsolicited pictures of… _genitals_ ,” he grimaced.

“I remember Yui talking about that particular part of dating culture,” Jeff cringed in sympathy. “That’s one thing I’m not sad to have missed out on in the future.”

“Sometimes I forget you’re from the nineties. Maybe that’s why you’re so charming,” Adam, again, managed to throw in a compliment, before faltering. “So you’re not having seconds thoughts? About me?”

“Hell no,” Jeff grinned. “Whether you’ve slept with zero or 500 people, it’s all the same to me. I like you for _you_ , not your dating history.”

That served to make Adam flustered, the man looking down at the mossy ground to hide the grin that crept up on his face.

“I’m glad you see it that way,” Adam said, casting a soft look up at Jeff and showing him the most heartfelt smile he’d ever seen.

And in that moment, Jeff’s entire world shifted. His priority after coming to the realm had always been to find a way out or at least try to make the most out of his time there, but now? Seeing the look Adam gave him, his number one mission in life became making sure the gorgeous man felt loved.

“You’re so perfect,” Jeff said, his own face softening into a sappy smile. One of his hands reached for Adam’s face slowly, to give him plenty of time to pull away, and finally settling to cup his cheek when he made no move to do so. “I still can’t believe this is happening. I’m so lucky,” Jeff murmured, his thumb gently stroking over the other’s heated cheek.

Adam’s smile widened from the mushy sentiment, and his eyes flickered down to Jeff’s lips. He tilted his head up just the tiniest amount and Jeff got the hint, leaning in for another kiss that had Adam sighing happily against his lips. Jeff gently coaxed the other’s lips to move against his own, and though unsure at first, soon Adam was kissing him like he’d been practicing for years, a teasing push and pull against his own that made warmth blossom in his chest.

Jeff was secretly a little pleased to be in the position of teaching something to Adam, for once, after learning so much from the man during their friendship. It made him feel like he had something to contribute, even though he now knew Adam saw much more in him than Jeff himself ever had.

A hand finding its way into his hair had Jeff sighing blissfully against the other’s lips. He should have known Adam would be a quick learner, and he was excited to see what else they could teach each other during whatever time they had left together in this strange place.


End file.
